Stitches reclines upon the top of the boiler – the warmest place in the workshop.  Her un-feline friendliness and ratting abilities are her insurance policy against a second bout of homelessness.  Her first eviction was doubtless caused by her eating disorder (which has thus far only banished her from the kitchen here at Avalon) though maybe an occasional tendency to pee in places pee should never be. Therefore she is either in the workshop or outside, never in the house (not legitimately anyway). We didn’t know when we went to the cat rescue.  It didn’t matter – she chose us.  As soon as we walked in she jumped up to us and clung on.  “Come on, let’s go home”.

She’s not magazine material, but all who come this way fall in love with her.  As soon as you’re seated, she’s seated. On you.  Purr.

Those occasions when she makes a successful dash to the kitchen she heads instinctively for the ice-cream tub we use to store waste destined for the chickens…she knows this is the most likely place to get a meal.  And this instinct has saved many meals that have lain unnoticed (and uncleared) on the stove or work-surface.

Sometimes the dog will fetch me to deal with her and I’ll find her with her head in the sugar bowl…

…or making unpleasant a pheasant breast that was out to thaw…

Then comes the banishing ceremony.  Picked up with one hand – doors being opened with the other.  Out she flies.  Landing on her feet.  Scowling at me.  As if it’s me who’s the thief.

The extent of her eating disorder is such that we hardly need to feed her.  She catches so many rats, moles, mice and voles and eats them whole.  Starting at the nose.  Until the tip of the tail finally slips into her mouth.  With the scraps she steals from the chickens and her bounteous daily catch of rodents she hardly needs the handful of cat pills we tempt her in with in the morning and out with at night.

Her official title in the Kingdom of Avalon is:

HRH Princess Stitches, Duchess Of The Workshop, Slayer of Wee Beasties and Cuddler in Chief